Deja Vu

Many years ago, many of us were not allowed to enter China other than diplomatic reasons. Now, it is a common fact that many of us have traveled and actually stayed in China due to business and employment. This is a changing reality closer to many of us.

Here is the other ever changing reality and practically experienced by all since we are all from somewhere. Many of us are genealogically connected to the roots of China although many may not be linked by nationality or even culturally. And another changing reality is the sense experience I have been going through ever since I came to Shanghai to diversify professional experiences through employment. This mentioned sense experience is indeed the essence of déjà vu (as Jane from Singapore accurately described!).

Well, it has all started since before we are all born. If you actually precisely understand the meaning of déjà vu, this comes from our past and even before we are born. I have to say this one more time just to emphasize and remind the critical sense of the term. Many of you are privileged to receive this ongoing travelogue out of my personal time and experience living in a foreign hinterland but this particular process of experiential living has gotten me daily with many repeated, reminiscent sensory experience of déjà vu.

I will simply describe my sense of déjà vu as expressed by the flow of my stream of consciousness (as suggested by Dr. Koo in KL). It has been quite often to see many facials expressions, bodily gestures, visual contacts, and even vocal intonations, I mean, the human traits that constantly remind me of my dad was here before but never was. My dad was actually from Chaozhou of Guangdong Province but migrated to Malaysia (Malaya then) when he was very young. He has passed away a few years back at home in Malaysia. I mention about him because I keep seeing the déjà vu - facials expressions, bodily gestures, visual contacts, and even vocal intonations – so commonly sensed, known, aware of, and understood well that are all related to him in many respects. I know it is strange to describe déjà vu this way.

Every now and then, I would have detected this déjà vu even in many Chinese nationalities (the locals) in the way they talked, moved, gestured or in other forms of expressions. When I was going around looking at things in town, I could even see those traits very similar to my dad's way of dressing up. For instance, the ever familiar men's dress shoes, usually in black, polished, shiny, leather shoes that has always been the trademark of my dad, in fact, all his life time wearing this type of black leather shoes. Indeed, it was his favorite kind of dress shoes. Then, seeing many historical photos shots of the old days of Shanghai also easily reminds me of those appearing in the pictures that their shoes were then the most popular kind of shoes type. Déjà vu!

Then, the gray tone, alas, but yes, the undying gray tones that many so called experts consider as non colors. It is another very common color that is consistently seen in those elderlies and men especially. This is the dead ringer of my dad's favorite color. In fact, to me, this gray tone reminds me of the sense of being toned down, being the same, being polite, being diligent, being stable, and little interest in displaying for attention. (Or, is it due to political reason? Or simply, dictated by economic needs or a long lasting trend?) And now, I could even see these colors here, and so commonly found in those elderlies who are always in groups at the neighborhood park by the corner of the street, at those spacious open areas by the shopping malls when early in the weekend morning many of them gather in groups to do tai-chi exercise, marveled at their martial arts skills, or just leisurely walking in pairs with their life partners. And most often, they are mostly seen late in the evening taking rests at those street corners, plazas, squares well furnished with street furnishings. Many of them in their hands are with fans to quell the summer heat late in the evenings.

Another changing reality but unchanging at the same time. Well, changing is because time has gone by; this is o longer the time of the past but the recent or the present. Then, unchanging is because the same type of colors is being constantly seen by me whenever I am out walking on the streets. Above all these, common in the aged group and both genders as well is the starched white short sleeved cotton tops. This is another unchanging and undying reality that never goes away. It was also the favorite tops my dad used to wear and for many decades. I had never ever heard him sounding any fatigue or boredom at the same or repeated daily social presentation.

Any one of you out there seeing the same, not even the word similar is used here, kind of phenomena? Déjà vu and a changing reality!!

Take care
Jeremy
September 1st 2004

Yewli

My father was rather a simple man who worked too hard all his life, pulled the family together as he loved kids too much, and he hardly thought about materialistic needs for himself. Instead, he shoowered his childen with the best he could find. He always wore the same kind of clothing. I couldn't believe it till this moment I am typing away and describing him.

The way you associate the leather and cloth shoes with hardship, power is very very fascinating to me. I am sure it was then the trends, or leanings of style or thoughts. I could not explicate why my das was wearing those leather shoes. But I do know that he and my mom wanted to dress me up but when I was small, I never liked the leather shoes, especially those very tough ones, (so called stone shoe then). I hated the leather shoes due to this reason. It hurt my feet.

Jeremy



>From: Koo Yew Li
>To: jeremy tew
>Subject: RE: Deja Vu -leather shoes and all
>Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 19:41:41 +0800
>
>I am fascinated by your description of 'leather shoes'. My mother was
>captivated by my father through his leather shoes (amongst other reasons of
>course, he being mild-mannered and gentle) - he was from a wealthy and
>prominent business family, visiting the ancestral home in the village from
>Nanyang. The fact that he was wearing leather shoes
>as compared to her male peers in cloth shoes was a dreamed for escape from
>the hard and boring
>provincial life in MeiXien that she wanted to escape from, she speaks of the
>hatred of the dirty earth which sticks to her feet in the land, the hatred
>for her father who was a member of the landed bureaucratic class as he had
>neglected them for the accepted second wife from Chazhou, through a cruel
>magical charm as she puts it.
>
>Leather shoes in those days speaks of power, the intoxication of the
>foreign, socioeconomic clout, class, escape and difference.
>


Hi Jeremy,

Sorry to hear that you are down with flu. Hope you are feeling better now. Your weather has not been good, so it is not surprising that you caught the "bug"! Drink more fluid & have plenty of rest, if you can!!

Thanks for looking out for the above items for us; something small, exclusive, unusual & CHEAP! Take your time. We are not in a hurry to have them.

We are off to Penang & Langkawi from Sept. 3 to 10. Looking forward to the welcome rest by the beach & best of all, doing nothing!!

Your message on "Deja Vu" was philosophical & nostalgic. Our background & roots are not so "Chinese" as we are 3rd. generation Malaysian Chinese & our grandmother was half Tibetan. Worst of all we can't speak Mandarin nor read Chinese characters unlike you. We are more "Anglocised Malaysians" with minimum knowledge of Chinese culture. Being "rojak" we would be like "fish out of water" in China!

Cheers for now. Keep well.

Winnie & Co. send their best wishes & hope you are fine.

Regards.
May.